


Yousef

by starking24



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Interfaith Issues, Light Angst, Pining Yousef, a conversation between mama bakkoush and yousef, an episode 10 rewrite, yousef pov, yousef's mom makes an appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starking24/pseuds/starking24
Summary: Series of snippets from Yousef's POV from episode 9 onwards. An episode 10 rewrite.





	1. Friend Request

**Author's Note:**

> I love Yousef as a character, he has so many layers and complexities to him. Also I really wanted a POV clip from him in the show, but alas what is fan fiction but an attempt to fill in the gaps of our favorite shows. So I wrote my version of Yousef’s thought processes surrounding the events that occur from episode 9 onwards.

The wind was slightly biting as Yousef stepped outside. As he walked further out into the street, the sun cast a warm glow over him and the surrounding buildings. 

He was on his way to Elias’ apartment, wearing a simple white T-shirt and black shorts. 

Elias had called him and the boys over for a game of Kubb. Normally he would have found some excuse not to go, as he had been wary of being in the Bakkoush household for some time, in an attempt to avoid annoying Sana further. But today he felt less apprehensive about the situation, thinking back to Eva’s birthday party on Friday when Noora was showing Sana something on her phone, and how Sana had looked right up at him and smiled. He had spent the last two nights overanalyzing the meaning behind the momentary glances they’d shared.

It was a potential sign to him that maybe Sana didn’t entirely hate him. Still, he would try to keep his distance to avoid getting his hopes up any further.

As he reached their place, he rang the doorbell and after a few moments Elias swung the door open to let him in. He fist bumped with Elias and walked inside shutting the door behind him. He looked around, briefly wondering where Sana was, before quickly erasing that thought from his mind.

“Relax, bro. She’s upstairs in her room.” Elias said with a knowing smile.

“I wasn’t…... ok.” Yousef nodded

He led him outside where the other guys were waiting. Mutta and Adam had already started setting up the wooden blocks in the grass. Mikael was tossing the wooden sticks up in the air attempting to juggle with them.

“What’s up man?” Mutta asked grinning at Yousef.

“Nothing much. Ready to lose to me and Elias?” Yousef teased

“In your dreams, you guys are going down,” Adam declared

Yousef smiled. He was going to miss the guys when he left for Turkey in less than a week. Elias was already chewing him out for leaving just when the Hei Briskeby videos had started gaining in popularity. 

“Ok, who’s going first?” Mikael asked, offering up the sticks for the guys to choose.

Elias and Mutta both made a grab for the wooden sticks at the same time followed by Adam. As they took their positions on the lawn, Adam wandered over to where Elias was standing. Yousef and Mikael took a seat on the grass in the shade, waiting for their turns. 

Mutta made the first throw and abruptly cursed when it missed the block by a long shot. 

“I’m so bad at this,” Mutta grumbled.

Yousef grinned to himself watching Elias attempt a throw at the wooden block off to the side.

“Hey”

Yousef swiftly turned his head towards the voice and saw Sana standing in front of them beaming down at Mikael and him. 

Butterflies filled his stomach, and his heart flooded with a sudden warmth. Before he could stop himself he was grinning up at her like an idiot.

“What’s up Sana? You doing well?” Adam remarked 

“Join us!” said Mutta

Elias huffed in annoyance. “Join? We’re in the middle of the tournament. She can join later.”

“You’re just worried she’ll beat you at yet another game” Adam taunted.

Elias rolled his eyes before tossing the stick, just barely missing the mark again.

“Mikael, it’s your turn,” Mutta said offering up one of his batons to Mikael. 

“Easily” Mikael said

Yousef stared straight ahead at the game, willing himself not to look at her any more than was necessary. He cursed himself at his own stupidity; Sana was just being friendly and nothing else. 

“Hey,” Sana repeated, this time the greeting was solely directed at him.

Yousef turned his head slightly and smiled gently at her, his eyes melting upon seeing her sitting next to him. 

“Hey,” Yousef softly replied

He waited a few seconds before dipping his head down and turned his attention to the surrounding grass. He began to pick at a few strands here and there, looking anywhere but at her, trying to still his rapidly beating heart. 

“Did you have a nice time at Eva’s birthday party?” Sana asked amiably.

“Yah, I had a great time! And you?” Yousef turned his head towards her.

Sana nodded with a smile.

Looking down at the grass again in reticence, he continued.

“The gift she got was awesome. Eskild just popping the champagne bottle and stuff. It wasn’t even his gift.” 

“He didn’t even bring a present” Sana added laughing.

“He didn’t even bring one….he was awesome,” Yousef grinned.

“Yeah,” Sana replied.

Yousef hesitated before saying, “Even, it was good to see him again.” He smiled fondly at the thought of his best friend. He was happy that he was doing so well and had found a great guy to be with.

“Mm-hmm,” Sana nodded in agreement.

Yousef didn’t know what else to say. It felt difficult to restrain himself from engaging in more than just polite small talk. He wanted to ask her how she was doing? How her fast was going? Did she ever think about him as more than just her older brother’s best friend? He knew in his mind that it was hopeless to even go down that road again, yet he wished his heart would catch up to his brain. He knew it was for the best that he was leaving for Turkey, but he couldn’t stand the idea of being away from her for the whole summer, even if they weren’t together, he still wanted to be in her life, someway and somehow. 

He heard Mutta yell in the background, “Guys, it’s the third time we’ve beat you so please, just put up a bit of a fight.”

“I just thought of something. We have to break the fast together tonight. With some delicious food,” Adam interjected.

“Balkan! Balkan kebab.” Mutta suggested excitedly.

“No bro, Istanbul! Istanbul, right? We have to! But we have to do it before Yousef leaves,” Adam prompted.

“When does he leave?” Elias paused what he was doing and turned to Yousef before shouting, “Yousef! When do you leave?”

Yousef raised his head, looking at Elias and answered, “Saturday”.

Elias repeated, “Saturday?”

Yousef nodded and rolled his eyes. He had only mentioned when he was leaving about three times to Elias already. 

“Done. We’ll eat together on Friday,” Adam said.

“No!” Elias answered

“Why not? Relax, we’ll eat together on Friday.” Adam settled

The boys started arguing amongst themselves about why Elias couldn’t eat with them on Friday.

“Where are you going?” Sana asked hesitantly.

Yousef paused, nervous about telling her he was leaving for the summer. 

After a few seconds his eyes focused on her and with a small smile he said, “Turkey”.

Sana raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Oh!”. An inexplicable emotion flitted across her eyes briefly, but before he could figure out what it was, it was gone.

Yousef turned his head back towards the guys who were still in dispute, trying to decide which day to meet.

“No, Thursday is better guys”

“No, because on Friday, there’s no school the next day. We can stay up all night and sleep all day. “

“Are you going for a long time?” Sana inquired.

_Why was she asking him that? Did she want him to stay? Would she miss him?_

He shook his head. Here he was yet again overthinking something that was probably just polite interest. He picked at some more strands of grass and held them in his hand.

He furrowed his brows slightly and gently gazed at her before panicking and throwing the grass in her face.

“Until August”

_What was wrong with him? Why did he have to be the most clueless person when it came to flirting. First he steals her ball. Now he throws grass at her? Stupid!_

He wasn’t sure if he saw disappointment in her eyes or if that was only what he wanted to see. He looked down at his hands.

“Yousef, it’s you turn” Mikael came over and passed him a wooden stick. 

He rose from his sitting position, took the stick, and walked over to where Elias was standing.

“Why am I always the one who has to switch?” Adam complained

“Guys, I’m missing a stick, give me one,” said Elias

Yousef looked at the field and the row of wooden blocks several feet in front of him. 

“Okay, Mutta, which one should I hit?” he asked

Mutta pointed to the block in the corner. “Hit this one here”.

“Okay”

“If you hit it, you’re good” Mutta reminded.

Yousef swung his arm slightly, aligning the stick so he could aim properly, before he let go and tossed the stick at the target. The stick sailed a few feet before it bumped into the wooden plank and knocked it over. 

The boys all hollered in unison. Elias smiled widely at him and slapped his hand.

“Oh, you see? That’s why he’s on my team,” Elias remarked. 

“It’s beginner’s luck, man” Adam grumbled.

“Good” said Elias

“It’s the first time you’re winning, so….” Mutta noted.

Yousef grinned and wrapped his arm around Elias’ neck. “Always. It’s always Elias and I, man.”

“It’s always me and Yousef.” Elias mirrored him and brought his hand around Yousef.

It was true. It had always been Elias and him, for longer than the rest of the boys even. He had had an instant connection to Elias when they first met. They were more than just friends, they were brothers. He was the first one out of all the guys who he’d told about his feelings for Sana. It was a bit nerve-wracking as Elias was Sana’s brother and he wasn’t sure how he would react; whether he would suddenly hate him or forbid him from seeing her. Instead Elias had smiled at him and said “I already know, man. What took you so long to admit it?” Yousef heart warmed at that memory. 

As he was reminded of Sana, he quickly glanced over in her direction, hoping that she had seen him win the game, but her head was down facing her phone, texting someone. He tried to hide his disappointment with a fake smile and turned his attention back on the game. 

“Should we play another round guys?” Mikael asked.

************  


Yousef closed the door to the dance studio behind him and grabbed his empty gym bag from off the ground. Yesterday, he had covered for one of the dance teachers who was sick, but he’d accidentally forgotten his phone in the changing rooms and only when he was all the way home did he finally realize. By the time he headed back there, it was too late and they had locked the doors. Today, after work he had rushed over and found his phone in the lockers where it had been waiting for him. He had been without his phone for more than a day and he couldn’t remember if there was any charge left. Hoping he hadn’t missed any important calls, he hastily turned the phone on and looked at the lock screen. He scrolled through the messages from Elias, and the boys, before his heart stopped in his chest.

_Sana Bakkoush has sent you a friend request._

Not only that but she had sent him a message.

**Do you want to hang out with me?**

_Sana added him back on Face? And she wanted to hang out? Was this a date? Or just a casual friend meeting?_

This was so much information to process. His heart swelled with cautious optimism as he reveled in the fact that she was actually initiating things between them. But then his mind filled with dread as he realized she sent the message yesterday morning. It was already afternoon, a day later. In her eyes he was ignoring her, or worse rejecting her. That thought propelled him to immediate action, as his fingers sought purchase on his phone, typing out a response as quickly as he could. He mustered up all his courage and hit send before decidedly accepting her friend request.

He looked at the message he wrote.

**Of course I want to hang out with you! What about Friday? I’m leaving on Saturday.**

_Was it too desperate? Maybe he should try to play it cool…… oh well, it was too late._

He was past caring at this point. Sana was finally talking to him again. 

The minutes that ticked by were excruciating as he waited with bated breath for her response. He impatiently checked his phone every few seconds, hoping she would reply, fearing she had changed her mind in the time it had taken him to respond to her original message.

Finally he saw the grey typing bubbles in his chat with Sana and he held his breath. He squinted his eyes and raised the phone closer to his face in anticipation. A new message popped up, sending his heart into overdrive.

**Oh are you leaving this Saturday? I can’t this week**

His face fell….

**I hope you have the world’s best summer**

His heart sank lower as he reread her message twice more. He had waited too long. If he hadn’t forgotten his stupid phone he could have responded right away and maybe she would have agreed to meet. Of course he would be away from his phone the one time she messaged him first. In the back of his mind he somehow convinced himself that he deserved this. He’d led himself to believe that the fact he wasn’t Muslim wasn’t that big of an obstacle between them. But of course it was, he had been foolish to think otherwise. And now he wouldn’t see her for another two months. He wistfully accepted this turn of events and walked the rest of the way home in silent defeat.


	2. Breaking the Fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i did rewatch spinner, ramadan, og.., but only in preparation for this fic……. jk, i dont need a reason to watch that masterpiece, i’ve seen it more times than i can count. And i also happened to treat myself to the maghrib clip as well…. for science....

**“Balloon Squad"**

**Group Chat with Adam, Elias, Mutta, Mikael, and You**

**Elias:** Are you guys coming yet? We still have to film the video before we break our fast.

 **Adam:** coming!

 **You:** Hey Elias, can we film outside today?

 **Mutta:** On the way, @ Yousef why, what’s wrong with the living room?

 **You:** Nothing I just thought that we could mix things up, film somewhere different, so our fans don’t get bored

 **Elias:** That’s not it is it? What happened?

 **You:** Nothing!

 **Elias:** Come on bro, you can tell us ☺

 **Adam:** yeah man, you’ve been moping for weeks, what’s up?

 **You:** ugh fine

 **You:** Sana sent me a friend request a few days ago and asked if we could hang out but then when I told her we could meet today all of a sudden she cancelled and said she was busy. It was pretty clear she changed her mind about me. And I don’t want to go to her house and force her to see me and make things even more uncomfortable for her. 

**Mikael:** you like her don’t you? As more than friends?

 **Adam:** !!!???!!!

 **You:** yeah I do, but I’m not sure it matters anymore….

 **Elias:** Sana just doesn’t want to get her heart broken man, she doesn’t mean to push you away. 

**You:** I know, that’s why I don’t want to make things any more difficult for her. Besides I’m leaving tomorrow, it’s better if we just leave it.

 **Mutta:** :’’’(

 **Adam:** if I was you I would go to her before you leave man, at least tell her how you feel. I mean you’ll have to face her eventually. 

**You:** I’ll just see her when I get back, if she still wants to see me that is 

**Adam:** in that case, i’m down for filming outside, what do you guys say?

 **Mutta:** Yea, but wait if it’s Sana you like why were you meeting with Noora a few weeks ago?

 **You:** I was only meeting with her because I needed advice on how to talk to Sana. I’m an idiot when it comes to her

 **Mikael:** Yousef if it makes you feel better, you’re just an idiot in general  <3

 **Adam:** lollll

 **You:** -__- wow thanks Mikael

 **Mikael:** no problem! B-) 

**You:** I’ll be over in a few

 **Elias:** see you :D

Yousef put his phone down and sat back in his bed, rubbing his eyes. He should start getting ready to head over there but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do anything yet. They were meeting to film their last Hei Briskeby video all together before Yousef left for Turkey for two months. But all he could think about was Sana. How much he didn’t deserve someone like her. 

He couldn’t be the one thing that she wanted him to be. But he didn’t judge her for what she believed in; her faith was one of the many things he admired about her. Her religion was part of her very being. It used to be a part of him too. But not anymore. He wouldn’t recognize the old him, the one that got up every morning and rolled the prayer mat out in time for Fajr. But that didn’t stop the onset of nostalgia that overtook him when he thought about Friday prayers and that sense of belonging that only one thing brought him. Still, he couldn’t just go back to his faith as if the last year hadn’t happened. He wondered if he would ever find that peace that he once had.

He pushed all these thoughts to the back of his mind. It wouldn’t do him any good to spend his last night in Norway brooding over Sana. At least he wouldn’t be spending it alone. He would put on a smile for his boys. He could do that much for them. They were his family. With a resolved sigh, he picked himself off the bed and grabbed his shoes and cap from off the floor.

**************

“It’s Ramadan and you’re going to meet a girl?” Yousef asked incredulously.

“No” Elias responded.

“Bro.” Yousef shook his head in mock-disapproval

Elias smirked and said, “It’s Ramadan, so you have to live, bro.”

“Yeah, okay, are you living with girls during Ramadan, bro?” 

“Yousef, no one likes you,” Mikael added from behind him, flicking him in the ear with one of the spinners. 

“Don’t think, think.” Elias said nonsensically

Suddenly, Yousef’s phone started ringing. 

“Don’t think, think - what?” he replied before he reached into his pocket to grab it. He looked at his phone to see who was calling. His breath caught in his throat as he read the name ‘Sana Bakkoush’ on his caller ID, spontaneously smiling to himself out of habit. 

_She was really calling him?_

He barely registered Elias’ next words as the sole thought in his mind was that he needed to answer the call in time.

“It’s Sana,” Mikael gasped behind him

“Yousef, bro, why is she calling you? Tell her hi from me!” Elias yelled as he started to get up from where he was sitting.

“Oh haaa! Oh haaa” Adam guffawed.

He walked over to the concrete stairs on the right side of the building and sat down away from the guys. He didn’t want them listening in on his private conversation.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he said, “Hey!!”

He heard her voice on the other end. “Hi”

“Hey,” Yousef repeated, this time with a touch more restraint.

He felt nervous at what she might say. His hands slightly covered his mouth in an attempt to stop them from shaking 

“Um….I was just wondering…. what are you doing right now?” 

Yousef glanced over at the guys who were watching him in amusement, Adam was recording him with his phone. He mentally reminded himself to get back at him for that later. Suddenly, he realized he didn’t exactly want to tell her he was in the middle of filming a video.

“Uh….nothing in particular,” he said casually. 

“Um… I was just wondering… if you still wanted to meet up?” 

He couldn’t contain the grin that swept across his face. He had to physically stop himself from jumping up and down and shouting loudly in happiness because the guys were still watching him and she was waiting for his answer.

“Oh…..Um.. Sorry..….. I’ve made other plans.” 

“Oh. Okay. Oh my God, I understand,” Sana replied. He could hear the disappointment in her voice.

After a few seconds, he couldn’t take it any longer, breaking down into laughter. “I’m kidding! Of course we can meet up. When do you want to meet up? Where? I’ll meet you wherever you’d like.”

_So much for playing it cool_

He stood up quickly looking around aimlessly in excitement.

“Um… I’m not sure, did you have a place in mind?” Sana asked hesitantly. 

Yousef thought for second before he came across an idea.

“I know the perfect place. Do you know the waterfront area near Aker Brygge?” Yousef suggested.

“Yeah I think I know where that is.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up in an hour?” Yousef confirmed

“Sounds good. See you!”

“See you!” Yousef smiled as she hung up. He felt numb, as if in a surreal state of mind. He walked over to where the boys were still sitting, waiting for him. He felt like hours had passed by since they’d started filming the video. He couldn’t even remember what the video was about anymore. 

“What did she say?” Elias inquired, his brows furrowed slightly.

“How was it?” Mutta asked

“Nothing” Yousef stated, trying to act nonchalant.

Elias wasn’t convinced. “Why did she call? What did she say? Nothing? She was just silent?” 

“We’re uh…. going out today,” Yousef revealed with a grin on his face

“We’re supposed to eat together today!” Adam said affronted

“What’s up with that?” Mutta added

“What’s up with that? Before Iftar” Elias repeated, clearly milking the irony of the situation. A few minutes ago he was criticizing Elias for choosing a girl over them.

“Am I a Muslim, bro?” Yousef countered. They continued arguing loudly over each other until he said, “Relax, relax. I’m going, okay”. 

“Where are you going?” Elias demanded.

“If you leave now, you’ll never see us again.” Mikael asserted in a mock-serious voice.

Yousef grabbed their arms attempting to get the guys to chill, with little success. As he stood up to leave, they yelled loudly over one another, but Yousef tuned them out in amusement.

As he walked away quickly he heard Elias trailing behind him, shouting obscenities and thinly veiled threats. Something about if Yousef didn’t manage to stay an arm’s length distance away from Sana. Yousef couldn’t hear him. He was already busy trying to decide what to wear and what food to bring on their date. He rushed home in a whirlwind of anticipation and impulsive euphoria.

When he finally reached his house, he opened the fridge and rooted around trying to find something that Sana would like to eat when she broke her fast. 

“Hi, Canım*, what are you looking for?”

Yousef turned around and smiled. His mom had just walked in with a quizzical look on her face.

“Hi Anne* can you help me, I’m going on a date with Sana and she’s fasting so I wanted to bring her some food for afterwards. Do we still have any of that carrot soup?” 

“Elias’ little sister? Is she the one you’ve been talking about nonstop for weeks?” His mom smirked at him. 

Yousef blushed sheepishly. He brought his hand to the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Yah, that’s her. Um….so about the soup…..?” Yousef asked.

She smiled and said, “I think there’s some still left. It’s in the back, in the green container.” She walked over to him and raised her hand to gently brush the hair away from his face.

“Does she make you happy?”

“Yah. More than anything!” Yousef replied.

“Then I’m happy. Sana’s a wonderful girl.”

His heart swelled. 

“Oh also, why don’t you take some water for her, in the big water bottle. She’ll be thirsty,” she added before leaving the kitchen.

****************

“Is it okay to marry non-religious people in your religion?” Sana asked quietly.

“Yeah, that’s totally chill.” Yousef responded

“I wish it was chill in my religion too.” Sana sighed, looking out into the water

_Wait. What did that mean?_

Yousef paused, deliberating over why she would be saying that, and asked her curiously, “Why? Are you going to marry a non-religious man?”

“Yeah, maybe,” she replied smiling at him

His breathing slowed and he heard his heart beating loudly in his chest. Time stopped as he softly uttered the question on his mind. 

“Who?”

He held his breath in anticipation of what her answer might be, and looked straight at her intensely, wondering if she would say him.

Sana raised her eyebrows playfully before saying, “Stephen Curry.”

Yousef deflated as his eyebrows rose in surprise. Trying not to let the disappointment in his voice show, he quickly said, “Wow. Big man.”

Sana barely contained her laughter. “We’re going to make a basketball team together.”

He laughed lightly at that, recalling their first conversation over how many kids they wanted. Smiling he said, “You are? Six kids then, maybe?”

“Yeah” she replied, laughing along with him.

“That’s chill” Yousef grinned.

For a few seconds, they were both silent. Their worries, anxieties, and responsibilities gradually fading away from them as they sat in each other’s presence, looking out into the opaque surface of the water in front of them.

Finally, she broke the silence, turning to him. “So when are you leaving tomorrow?”

Yousef sighed internally. He’d forgotten about that. “Tomorrow morning. But I’ll be back..……when you’re over Stephen Curry.” He flashed her a big smile, showing all of his teeth.

Her eyes sparkled in amusement. “Ok”, she laughed.

He glanced over at her longingly. She met his eyes instinctively. He took in her features, trying to memorize the intricate details. There was an endearing spark in her brown eyes that drew him into her. A part of him wanted to reach out and trail his fingers over her cheek. All of a sudden as if reading his thoughts, she tore her gaze away from him, looking down at her lap.

“It’s getting late, I should get home soon,” Sana said, her voice subdued.

“Let me walk you home,” Yousef pleaded

“No, Yousef, you don’t have to, it’s out of your way and I know you leave early tomorrow morning. I’m sure you have last minute packing to do”

“Sana, I’m walking you home. it’s not a problem. Packing can wait, this can’t.”

The late evening glow of the docks cast a faint light upon her features as her cheeks reddened slightly. She nodded and they walked side by side along the widening sidewalk to her apartment. He caught a glimpse of her staring out at the water, waves lapping up along the pier.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before looking down again. 

“There’s something that’s been bothering me” Sana said abruptly.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I should have talked to you about this religion stuff instead of ignoring you and shutting you out…..It’s just that I had this idea of what my life would be like and who it would be with. And when you told me you weren’t Muslim, I was just scared and confused.”

Yousef nodded before replying, “that’s why I was really nervous to tell you because I knew it would change things, but I didn’t want to lie to you. The only reason I got the courage to send you a friend request was because I saw you had Norwegian friends and were on a russ buss, so I thought maybe….”

Yousef looked down at his shoes and drove his hands into his pockets. 

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away. Unfriending you on Facebook, that was a mistake. I spend so long pushing so many people away these past few months and I realized that I hurt other people in the process of trying to protect myself. It’s only because I’ve had to fight all my life for people to see me for who I really am instead of who they think I should be. I realize now not everything is in black and white.” 

“No but I get it Sana. If I had gone through half of the things you’ve had to deal with….I don’t blame you at all. For putting these walls up in order to defend yourself against a world hellbent on tearing you down. The fact that you came out of it with your faith stronger than ever, while still managing to be a kind and good person just shows who you really are to people willing to pay attention.”

She shook her head slightly in amazement, smiling up at him. 

Yousef met her eyes and gave her a heartfelt smile. He swore his heart skipped a beat looking at her. 

For a few minutes, they walked together in a comfortable silence, feeling no more need to speak. It was almost midnight now. He felt a light chill sweep over him but he wasn’t entirely cold. His thoughts and the girl next to him kept him warm. 

It was all too soon that they had reached her apartment. She stopped walking and stood in front of him, her back to the pavement. He didn’t want to leave, or to say goodbye. Although he knew it was only temporary.

“You know I wasn’t planning on meeting you today, but then that song started playing in the apartment above ours.” Sana said, interrupting his thoughts.

“What song?”

“You know, the one you were dancing to in our living room a few months ago? ‘I Feel It Coming’”.

Yousef paled as he remembered that day. He was so embarrassed that Sana had caught him dancing by himself but pleased to be able to talk to her, if only for a brief moment.

“So you heard that song, and it convinced you to meet up with me?” He beamed.

Sana blushed. The light from the moon and the streetlamps combined to cast an incandescent glow upon her cheeks. She nodded.

Yousef chuckled softly. “Well then maybe that’s our song”.

“Maybe.” She grinned up at him. 

“…….Are you looking into my eyes now?” she teased brightly, throwing his words right back at him.

“Yes” His laughter echoed in the still air around them.

“Good”

As he stared deeply into her eyes, she smiled endearingly.

He thought of his family who was waiting for him in Turkey. But he couldn’t help but think about his family here in Norway. Mikael, Adam, Mutta, Elias….. and Sana of course. He knew it was complicated and he knew he was leaving in the morning, but in that moment it was more important than anything that he tell her how he felt.

“Sana…I….” 

She looked at him expectantly.

“I like you” Yousef said finally. 

Sana’s mouth curved upward, as his confession hung in the air between them

His heart stilled, waiting for her response.

“I like you too Yousef.” The indent of her dimples materialized before his eyes.

He felt a breath rush out of him. The distant noise in the background faded away as his face lit up brightly at her.

“So…what happens now?” She blinked up at him

“I don’t really know. We don’t have to decide anything right now. I mean we can talk more when I get back about the logistics and all?” Yousef looked into her eyes.

“I’d like that”

Yousef stretched his arms out and with a content expression on her face, she stepped into his body, wrapping her arms around him. He closed his eyes and savored the feel of her in his arms. A calm feeling settled over him as he melted into the hug. He tilted his head slightly and whispered, “I’m going to miss you”.

“I’ll miss you too,” she whispered back.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” He said before finally letting go of her. His arms dropped to his sides.

She slowly walked backwards smiling, and waved goodbye. Then she turned around, walked to the front door and unlocked it. She turned her head and gave him one last smile before heading inside and shutting the door.

Yousef glanced at the door for a few seconds after she shut it, before finally stepping backwards. HIs heart was still thudding in his chest.

The rest of the way home he felt like he was walking on air. Had that really just happened? It was their first real date and Sana hadn’t denied it when he brought it up. He had admitted his feelings for her and she felt the same way. He couldn’t believe any of this was real.

They had finally taken that step towards understanding each other better. It was still something they would have to talk about more, but for tonight he was content in the fact that the girl he’d had a crush on since forever, liked him back. His heart felt significantly lighter, as if a huge weight had been lifted off of him. He knew he wouldn’t be getting a single minute of sleep tonight which was unfortunate as he had to fly to a different country in less than a few hours.

When he finally made it home, the lights were off and his parents were asleep. He quietly walked upstairs to his room and took off his jacket and hoodie. Looking around at his semi-packed suitcase and the pile of clothes on his desk chair, he plopped down on his comforter and took his phone out. He had several unread messages from the guys.

 **Elias:** Yousef, how’s it going?!?

 **Mutta:** So how was it?

 **Adam:** did you tell her already?

 **Mikael:** where did you take her ??

 **Elias:** Yousef I swear if you DON’T ANSWER YOUR PHONE RN!!!

He snorted to himself. They just couldn’t help themselves could they? He quickly typed out a reply.

 **You:** Relax guys!! I’m back home now. The date was good. It was really good, but not too good @ Elias….

 **You:** I told her that I liked her

 **You:** and she told me she felt the same

 **Mutta:** YES!

 **Adam:** <3<3<3

 **Elias:** BRO, bro I’m so happy for you!!  <3

 **Mikael:** are you guys like dating now?

 **You:** I told her we could talk about it when we get back but I guess unofficially we are?

 **Mikael:** ;D;D;D

 **Mutta:** I cant believe you’re leaving now for two months and we aren’t going see you till August.. :(((

 **You:** mutta don’t worry I’ll be FaceTiming you guys nonstop

 **Elias:** you better, every day man, every day

 **You:** hahahaha ill try ☺

 **Adam:** text us when you get to the airport

 **Elias:** yah and when you reach

 **You:** will do

 **You:** I have to go now, finish packing

 **Mutta:** night Yousef. Have lots of fun in Turkey!

 **Elias:** see you bro

 **Mikael:** <3 :DD

 **Adam:** safe flight man

 **You:** bye guys! ☺☺

He dropped his phone on the table next to his bed. Slowly, he started assembling his clothes for tomorrow, getting the rest of the stuff he was taking out of his closet and drawers. After about 15 minutes, he was finally done packing. He looked at his clock. It was 12:57 AM. If he went to bed now, he would get just under three hours of sleep. Yawning tiredly, he laid down, closed his eyes, and tried in vain to fall asleep.

Images of last night kept popping up in his mind. Sana and him laughing together. Her splashing water on his face. Sana doubled over in laughter after that swan scared the crap out him. Looking into her eyes and the curve of her dimpled smile. The glow on her face when she told him she felt the same way about him.

Restlessly, he checked his phone again. It seemed he wasn’t the only one thinking about their date. Sana had sent him another Facebook message.

 **Sana Bakkoush:** Thanks for tonight Yousef. I hope Turkey will be awesome and that no swans will eat you up there

He smiled broadly to himself as he wrote her a reply.

 **You:** Hahha. Same

 **You:** Are there actually swans in Turkey?

 **You:** Fuck, cant sleep.

 **You:** Have to get up in 3 hours

 **You:** I’m just thinking about how you’re going to get together with Stephen Curry this summer

 **You:** Please don’t….

 **Sana Bakkoush:** Hahaha

 **Sana Bakkoush:** Ok I promise  <3

 **You:** <3

He set an alarm on his phone before stuffing it under his pillow and closing his eyes. He really should try to sleep for a few hours. He had a long day tomorrow. As he drifted off to sleep, one final thought came into focus.

_So this is what falling in love feels like._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Canım-means ‘dear’ or ‘sweetheart’ in Turkish  
> *Anne-means ‘mom’ in Turkish
> 
> I wanted them to finally admit their feelings before he leaves for Turkey because really it was about time and I still think the final text works even if that happens. Also yes the balloon squad named their group chat "Balloon Squad", it's canon


	3. Homesick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little emo writing this chapter, not gonna lie...

The air crackled with the raw scent of spices and oils as Yousef navigated between the winding alleyways, traveling along the uneven grey cobblestones beneath his feet. The scorching heat from the sun beat down on his face as he wiped his forehead. He was already sweating through his t-shirt and it was barely mid-morning.

He was on his way back from the market. His mom had given him a list of things to pick up and he’d chosen to take the scenic route home, passing by the eclectic shops and savory food stalls.

It had only been a few days since he’d arrived in Istanbul, but he was already feeling homesick. When he was younger, he used to love his family’s annual trips to Turkey. It was a chance to see his cousins who lived here and visit his favorite childhood places. He loved eating his grandmother’s famous dolma* and going to the museums with his grandfather. 

But now things were different; his heart was in Norway, with a girl who loved basketball and science. A girl who he couldn’t stop thinking about. Despite being thousands of miles away from each other, they had kept in constant contact. He had even texted her pictures of his grandparent’s house and his family members.

He saw Sana in everything. Every mosque he passed by. Every woman wearing a hijab. Every little kid playing basketball behind their house. They all reminded him of her. 

He was already making a list in his head of places he wanted to bring Sana to in the future. He knew they weren’t technically dating yet and it was too soon to be thinking so far ahead into the future, but his feelings for her felt stronger than ever, and he couldn’t contain the joy that welled up inside of him when he thought of a life with her in it. 

He wished she was there with him. It felt a bit bittersweet being apart from her after they’d finally admitting their feelings to one another. Still, he knew he should make the most of his trip. It wouldn’t be fair to his family if he was wistful the whole time he was here. 

As he turned one last corner and made his way down the street to his grandparents’ house, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Taking it out, he looked at the screen. It was a text from Elias.

 **Elias:** hey bro, thanks for the pics, I had no idea the beaches in Istanbul were so beautiful. We're filming a new Hei Briskeby video with Even today. We wish you were here with us. We miss you. 

Yousef smiled to himself. Elias had texted a while ago telling him they were thinking of inviting Even over and filming a video with him. He was glad they were actually going through with it. It was about time Even was back with his boys. He raised his phone and typed out a response.

 **You:** no problem! That’s great to hear, let me know how it goes. I miss you guys too. ☺ I’ll FaceTime you later.

When he finally reached the white stucco building, he reached into his pocket to grab the house key and unlocked the door. He slowly walked inside, shutting the door behind him. Immediately, he heard loud laughter and without warning, he was ambushed by a small pack of kids in a tangle of arms, legs, and hands. 

He yelped loudly, dropping his bag on the floor as his little cousins piled on top of him.

“I surrender! I surrender!” Yousef shouted in mock-defeat.

They were in a tackling-everyone-and-everything phase, but he still couldn’t help but find them endearing. But apparently, not everyone in his family thought that as he watched his aunt run into the front hallway after them, clearly exasperated.

“Rehya, Kerem, Ayse! Get off your cousin right now!!“ his Aunt Emine yelled before pulling them off him.

“Yousef, canım, I’m so sorry, they’ve had too much sugar.“

He laughed before shrugging it off. “It’s okay Aunt Emine, I’ve grown used to my status as a moving human target”. He smiled and crouched down so he was face to face with his cousins who were jumping up and down. 

“Hi guys, what are you up to today?” he asked.

“We’re going to the pool,” Rehya answered shyly.

“Yousef, Yousef, do you want to see my scar I got from playing football?" Kerem asked him excitedly.

“Mine is better,” said Ayse.

“I would love to but first I have to get these ingredients I bought to your teyze* before she yells at me,” he said smiling at them.

They shrieked with laughter as they pushed each other out of the way, racing off to the living room.

“Here let me help with that” his aunt said referring to the bag he’d started to pick up from the floor. 

“It’s ok, I’ve got it.” 

“So, your mom tells me that you asked her to teach you some recipes?” 

Yousef inexplicably blushed and said, “Yah, you remember that girl I told you about? Sana? Well I’m trying to impress her.”

“Oh, I see” Aunt Emine smiled knowingly. “She’s a lucky girl”.

Yousef shook is head. “Trust me, I'm the lucky one.”

“Is she from Norway? How did you two meet?”

“I’m friends with her bro—“

“YOUSEF!” his mom suddenly called him from the kitchen. 

“COMING!” He tilted his head in that direction and looked back at his aunt apologetically before saying, ”I better get this stuff to my mom,” he raised the bag up. 

“Of course, we’ll talk later” his aunt replied.

Yousef swung the door to the kitchen open and lifted the bag onto the counter. His mom was too busy chopping tomatoes to notice when he walked in.

Yousef cleared his throat. She turned around and smiled at him warmly.

“Oh good, you’re finally back. Can you unpack the groceries and then help me get started on the kebab for Iftar.” She turned the sink on as she filled a pot with water. 

Yousef nodded and set to work.

“Was it just me, or did I hear you on the phone last night at 1 AM in the morning? His mom asked curiously.

All the color drained from Yousef’s face. “Oh….I…uh…I was trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t wake anyone. I was…. uh….on the phone with Sana….” He trailed off, directing his gaze to the carrots in front of him, before he looked up at her guiltily. 

His mom flashed him a teasing smile. “I figured that’s who it was. You’ve never spent that long on the phone with Elias or any of the other boys before.”

Yousef rolled his eyes lightheartedly. “It wasn’t that long. She was just telling me about her pre-Eid party she’s throwing on Saturday.”

“That sounds nice”

“Yah, it is,” he said quietly.

His mom picked up on his slight shift in tone. “Yousef, I know you wish you were there,” she said sympathetically. 

“No anne*, it’s ok, I’m glad I’m here in Istanbul. It’s so fun seeing the whole family again,“ he assured her. “And it helps that we’ve been talking and texting pretty much everyday since I got here.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to be away from someone you care about either,” she replied in a gentle tone. 

Yousef sighed more to himself than anyone else. “Thanks anne.” He grinned at her wholeheartedly.

At that moment his Aunt Emine walked into the kitchen, looking exasperated, a part of a broken lamp in her hand. 

“Sanem*, we have a situation in the living room. It’s the kids. They’ve officially lost it today. I saw this lying on the floor and when I asked who had broken it, no one wanted to confess. Please come help me.” 

His mom turned to him and said, “you’re in charge until I get back, keep an eye on the stove.” 

Trying to stifle his laughter, he nodded as he turned his attention back to the food.

**********

**Sana Bakkoush:** Hey Yousef, are you busy rn? do you want to FaceTime? ☺

Yousef smiled to himself as he read Sana’s latest text. He had just gotten back home from a long day of sightseeing and talking to Sana was just what he needed at the moment. 

He and his family had decided to take a trip to visit some famous landmarks in Istanbul and check out some local markets as well. The last place they’d stopped at was the Hagia Sophia. Once inside, he couldn’t stop himself from taking pictures of the dome-like interior, its arched stained glass windows, and famous elements of Islamic calligraphy. He knew Sana would love it so he’d sent her a few pictures. 

**You:** of course I want to FaceTime you!  <3

He opened up the FaceTime app and called Sana, pressing the video button. As it was ringing, he wiped his palm on his pants nervously. After all this time talking and texting, seeing her still gave him butterflies in his stomach.

She picked up on the fourth ring, her face coming into view on the tiny phone screen. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. She was wearing a black hijab, with a white sweater, and a radiant smile.

“Woooooww, looking good girl!” Yousef said smiling at her.

Sana looked down shyly before peering up at him again in amusement and said, “I don’t even recognize you, you look so tan.” 

“I’ve been out in the sun all day, what do you expect?” Yousef replied.

She smirked. “Did you have fun today?” 

“Yah I did! My uncles, aunts, parents, and cousins, basically my whole family and I went sightseeing today. We walked so much and now I can’t move, I’m so exhausted.” He groaned, leaning his head back against the bed and closed his eyes momentarily before opening them again and gazed at her.

“Awww, I’m sorry you’re tired,” she said sympathetically. “But the Hagia Sophia is so breathtaking. Thanks for the pictures by the way. I loved them,” she added.

“I know right? It’s so big and filled with so much historical and religious significance. It’s this perfect mix between secular and non-secular influences.”

Yousef hesitated slightly before he continued, his face flushed.

“One day I’m bringing you there,” he said, looking solemnly into her eyes

He knew it was a big risk to take saying something like that; it was almost like a marriage proposal, but he’d never felt more sure of anything. 

A blush seared through Sana’s cheeks as her eyes lit up with pure happiness. “I can’t wait.”

Yousef smiled “So how’s the party planning coming along?”

“It’s great, only now my friends have invited even more people than we expected so my mom is stressing out about making enough food for everyone. It’s ok though, I’m helping her out.”

“You’re helping her? Make food? Is that safe? he said jokingly.

Sana scoffed in mock-offense. “I’m not completely useless at some things. I can make toast and some cereals. I just can’t boil eggs because of what happened last time.”

Yousef laughed and raised his brows at that. “What happened last time?”

Sana looked down, lowering her voice to a whisper as she muttered, “There may or may not have been an incident where I somehow managed to almost burn the kitchen down…” Sana trailed off before rolling her eyes, “But it’s fine no one got hurt. Elias still refuses to let me live that down though.”

He burst out laughing. “How can someone as smart as you, who’s pursuing medicine, not even know how to boil an egg?” He couldn’t believe this was the woman of his dreams. She was just as dorky as him.

“Yah well when I’m busy saving lives no one’s going to care whether or not their doctor can boil an egg,” she teased lightly.

Yousef smiled endearingly at her. “Speaking of cooking, my mom’s teaching me to make that carrot soup you liked so much. I thought I could make it for you when I get back.”

Sana’s expression softened at that subtle confession. The corners of her lips raised up slowly as she took in what he’d just said. “Awwwww” she replied fondly.

“Sana, don’t ‘awwww’ me. You know I get awkward,” he said quietly, looking away from her in embarrassment.

She laughed at his response. “Ok then do I get to peel the carrots?”

“Not unless you actually want to eat the soup when it’s done,” he responded matter-of-factly.

She shook her head at him, grinning widely. “Wow, rude.”

He met her grin with one of his own.

“So how was your day?” he asked.

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, we took the van for a test drive.”

“How was it?”

“It was so much fun, but Chris kept stopping every five minutes to—hey!”

Sana turned her head to the right, shouting at someone just out of view of the screen. Suddenly, she was nudged out of the frame and a few seconds later a new face appeared in front of him. It was Elias, smiling down at him. 

“Yousef!!! What’s up man? How’ve you been?” Elias glared at Sana presumably standing next to him.

Her voice was barely audible in the background as she said, “I was in the middle of talking to him Elias, couldn’t you have waited?” 

Yousef snorted as he raised his brows at his friend. “I’m fine, what’s up with you?” 

“Not so good, considering my best friend promised to FaceTime me, but he’s apparently forgotten all about me.” Elias fake-pouted

Yousef stifled his laugh. “I’m sorry Elias, I was about to FaceTime you after I was done talking with Sana, I mean it.”

“Oh! I see how it is now. I’m your second choice and Sana’s your number one priority,” Elias said with a sullen look on his face. 

Sana pushed Elias out of the way and took the phone from his hands. “You’re going to have to get used to sharing Yousef now,” she said smirking at him.

“Sorry Elias, it’s true, Yousef said sincerely laughing.

Elias moved into frame behind Sana’s face. “Fine I get it,“ he huffed, crossing his arms. 

“How did the YouTube video with Even turn out?” Yousef offered consolingly. 

Elias smiled at that. “It was good. He seems really happy. He and Isak are the best couple. You know that could be you two once you get your act together and finally start dating.”

Sana met his eyes across the screen and smiled gingerly. A heavy silence fell upon them after that, which Elias caught and took as his cue to leave, but not before he told Yousef he would talk to him later. 

Finally Yousef broke the silence as he said, “I wish I was in Norway right now.”

Sana smiled at him once again. “Me too.”

“But at least this gives me more time to plan our reunion date for when I come back. It has to be epic if it’s going to follow up our first one.” He gave her a cheeky grin.

“Wow, I’m already excited.” 

Just as Yousef was about to respond, the sound of her phone alarm went off and she quickly silenced it.

“Was that your call to prayer app? I think it’s time for Maghrib isn’t it?” he murmured.

She glanced at him in surprise before saying, “Yah, it is.”

He nodded. “You should go then, I’ll talk to you later,” he said giving her a heartwarming smile. 

She looked like she wanted to say something but instead she stared at her lap.

“What is it?” he asked.

“It’s just….do you ever….miss it? Islam I mean?” she asked cautiously.

Yousef paused, bewildered at her spontaneous question.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” she quickly interjected.

“No, it’s ok, I want to.” He hesitated, trying to collect his thoughts before he looked up at her once again and said, “Honestly? I do. I mean it’s hard because my mind tells me one thing and my heart tells me another. But it sort of feels like a small part of me is missing. Seeing you so committed to your faith, it makes me wish I could have that again. I don’t know if it’s something that I can come back to or not. But maybe someday I can? I’m sorry that’s all I can give you right now. What I do know for sure is how much you mean to me and that I’m willing to support you in any way I can in any way you need if you’ll let me.”

Sana’s eyes widened, clearly taken aback by his response. She smiled, her eyes watering slightly as she said, “Yousef…I…you’re just….I love you.” 

He let out a breath as his heart fluttered at her admission. He hadn’t imagined they would be expressing their love for each other over FaceTime, when they were thousands of miles away from each other, but here they were. 

His stupefied expression quickly transformed into one of pure adoration as he said the words he’d been waiting to say since forever. 

“I love you Sana Bakkoush.”

A single tear ran down her cheek as she gave him her famous dimpled smile.

More than ever he wished that he was there with her, so he could hold her in his arms and never let go. But he was in Turkey and she was in Norway. For now, he settled for this moment; her looking at him, him looking at her, as if all that existed was the two of them.

**********

The water was warm under the intense sunlight glimmering overhead as the crushing force of the cerulean waves hit the backs of his legs.

It was the perfect day to be at the beach. He’d always loved swimming in the ocean as a kid. Wading in the blue water as the tide pushed and pulled against him, feeling the wet sand between his toes.

Yousef splashed water in the direction of his little cousins who shrieked in laughter before jumping underwater as an oncoming wave swept over him.

As he brought his head back up to the surface, he smiled to himself thinking about Sana. She loved him. And he loved her. His chest ached at the thought of not seeing her for another month and a half. He would call her again tonight, although it would probably be brief as she had to get ready for her pre-Eid party tomorrow. Everyone would be there. Everyone except him.

Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mom waving at him. He waved back. At second glance, he realized she was actually waving him over to her. He swam back to the shore, dripping saltwater as he stepped on small seashells that littered the surface of the white sand. He grabbed his towel from a nearby chair before walking closer to her, drying himself. 

“Hi Anne, did you call me?” Yousef asked looking confused.

His mom only nodded, smiling up at him. She took his arm in hers before she motioned for both of them to sit down. As he plopped down on the hot sand, a concerned expression spread across his face as he glanced at his mom.

“Anne, what’s wrong, you’re scaring me?” Yousef said.

She gave an affectionate laugh as she said, “Oh canım, nothing’s wrong. In fact I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” Yousef shifted slightly in anticipation.

“What’s the one thing you want more than anything right now?”

One thought flashed in his mind and it was being in Norway with Sana. But he shook his head, quickly erasing that image.

“There’s nothing I want. I’m happy with everything.” He was unsure where this conversation was going.

His mom reached out and pushed some of the wet hair from his face as she said, “Yousef you don’t need to hide your feelings from me. I know you too well.”

He flushed, his face turning red. “Alright there is one thing. But it’s impossible, it’s too much to ask for,” he muttered sheepishly. 

“Well it’s not impossible. Your baba* and I arranged for the whole thing. Everything is all set,” she replied delightedly, searching his face for a reaction.

“Wait, what? What do you mean? What’s all set?” Yousef felt disoriented.

“You're flying back to Norway tomorrow afternoon!!” she exclaimed with excitement.

_What?! Was this really happening?!!_

“Is this really happening?” he said aloud, his hopes rising in his chest.

His mom grinned widely and threw her arm around his shoulder, “Yes canım, it’s really happening. Consider it a really early birthday present. We love you and want to see you happy and if it’s back in Norway with a certain someone then who are we to stop you?”

He looked out at the waves where the rest of his family was scattered across the beach. They were all looking at him with smiles on their faces.

“But I can’t just leave, I mean…. I came all the way here to spend time with everyone.” His heart was screaming at the rational side of him, as some part of him knew he should just stop talking and accept this gift.

“Yousef, we visit every year, Turkey will always be here. Your family understands. And besides, you work hard all year. Sometimes it’s okay to do something for yourself,” his mom replied.

He had tears in his eyes as he crushed his mom to him in a tight hug before saying, “I love you!! Thank you for everything!! I mean it.” He finally let go and she gently brushed his cheek, wiping his tears away.

“I love you too, canım."

*********

A few hours later he was back at his grandparents house. It was almost midnight but he couldn’t sit still. He was visibly shaking with excitement at the thought of seeing Sana in person in less than 24 hours from now.

How he had managed to keep it a secret from her when he called her earlier he had no idea. She had probably suspected something was up with him; he was always a terrible liar. But he’d tried to make some excuse about being sick, hoping to keep the fact that he was coming back earlier a surprise for a little bit longer. 

He’d debated telling Elias and the guys but then decided against it when he realized they were terrible at keeping secrets. Besides it was better to surprise them all tomorrow when he arrived. 

He dragged his suitcase out of the closet and looked around, he had a lot of work to do. He was packing for the second time in less than a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dolma-a stuffed vegetable dish  
> *teyze-means ‘aunt’ in Turkish  
> *Anne-means ‘mom’ in Turkish  
> *Sanem-Yousef’s mom  
> *baba-means ‘dad’ in Turkish


	4. Beginning

Yousef was running late. Really late. 

His flight had been delayed and he had been stuck waiting at the airport for longer than he would have liked. 

After what had felt like days but was really more like three hours, he had finally made his way onto the plane.

The four-hour flight had dragged on so slowly, but when he’d finally reached Oslo, he got off the plane as fast as he could, heading through the airport terminal.

As he picked up his suitcase from baggage claim and walked outside, he hastily hailed a cab, hopping into the backseat. 

Once he’d given the driver directions to his house, he looked out the window, taking in the familiar landmarks and buildings around him. Unbidden thoughts of Sana had flashed through his mind. He couldn’t wait to see her again. He knew it had only been a week, but it seemed much longer in his head. FaceTime was nothing compared to the real thing. And of course he couldn’t wait to see Elias and the boys. He wondered what they would say about him coming back to Norway after such a short time. He could picture their teasing now, probably saying something along the lines of “Oh you couldn’t even wait two more months to see Sana?”. He shook his head to himself. He knew it was surreal; his parents had sprung this ticket on him last minute and he couldn’t believe it was actually happening. He wasn’t sure what he would even say when he saw her. Something coherent he hoped. 

After stopping at his house to drop off his stuff and promptly changing, he was now walking up the street to the Bakkoush household, filled with nervous anticipation. He wondered what Sana’s reaction might be at seeing him again.

When he reached their place, Yousef rang the doorbell twice before taking a small step back. He ran a hand through his dark hair nervously, drumming his fingers against his thigh as he stood waiting in front of their door. He heard someone shout from inside, “CAN SOMEONE SEE WHO’S HERE?”. Before long, the door swung open and he saw none other than Jamilla standing there looking bemused. She furrowed her brows slightly in surprise as she registered his unlikely presence.

"Yousef? You're here? I thought you were in Turkey?!" 

"I was until this afternoon, but now I'm here. My parents bought me a ticket so I could come back early..." he trailed off as he heard loud laughter coming from the backyard where he presumed the party had already started.

Jamilla had a knowing gleam in her eyes as she said, “Sana is going to be so happy and shocked when she sees you.”

Yousef widened his eyes. “How did….I mean…what…do you mean?”

Jamilla laughed, the corners of her eyes crinkling in amusement as she leaned against the door. “Yousef if you thought your crush on her was subtle, you were severely mistaken. Whenever I used to visit the Bakkoush home to see Hadir* and you and the rest of Elias’ friends were over, it was so obvious the way your eyes always lingered on her for longer than anyone else.”

Yousef blushed and looked down.

“Plus Sana happened to tell me she liked you a couple of days ago. Something about you being her soulmate…”

His heart started beating faster.

_Soulmates? Sana thought they were soulmates?_

That was exactly what he had texted Noora all those weeks ago. He couldn’t believe she was just as head over heels for him as he was for her.

“…which was interesting to hear since Sana isn’t usually the type of person who believes in all of that stuff.” Jamilla smiled up at Yousef. “You must be special”.

Yousef just stared straight at her looking dumbstruck, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Why don’t you come inside already,” Jamilla said, interrupting his thoughts. “How was Turkey?” 

Yousef ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it slightly. “It was good. I spent a lot of time at the beach. Ate a lot of food.”

Jamilla chuckled. “I’d love to go there sometime. Hadir and I always wanted to take a trip there.”

“You should, I would love to recommend places to visit, it’s the most beautiful country…” he trailed off as he remembered why he was here in the first place. “Um… I was wondering….do you know where Sana is?”

Jamilla gave him an amused smirk. “She’s in the kitchen. I’ll make sure you guys have some privacy.”

Yousef nodded. “Great, thank you!”

She smiled as she walked towards the kitchen with him. He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves as he pushed the door open and walked inside.

Sana was standing next to the kitchen counter in the most stunning pink caftan and matching hijab. 

She looked so beautiful. 

As he took in the unexpected sight in front of him, all thoughts fled from his mind in a rush. 

He couldn’t breathe. It was like she’d stolen all the air from his lungs. He couldn’t even remember what his name was.

Somewhat coming back to himself, Yousef jokingly asked, “Need some help?” 

At the sudden sound of his voice, Sana raised her head to see who’d just walked in, only to stop what she was doing at once. She dropped the towel in her hands as her eyes widened in disbelief. Her lips moved, but no sound came out.

“You—Yousef?” She managed to stutter out. “I thought you were in Turkey? How…?” she mumbled, unable to properly articulate her words.

Yousef gave her a broad smile. "You'll never believe how many swans there were in Turkey. And you weren't there for me to act tough around. So I came home to safety....and to someone else..." his eyes sparkled as he gazed at her, taking in all of her at once. 

Forgetting herself for a minute, she rushed over to him and enveloped him in a tight hug, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He memorized the feel of her in his arms. Being with her again felt like coming home. He _was_ home. She had gradually taken over every corner of his heart. 

Eventually, after a few moments, they broke apart from each other. Yousef looked down at her, a soft expression on his face. He was standing mere inches away from her. He leaned backwards slightly as he looked around the kitchen. 

“How’s the party going?”

“It’s going better now,” she smiled brightly at him before giving him a questioning look. “You never told me, what are you doing here? How are you here and not in Turkey? I thought you weren’t coming back until August. Not that I’m complaining,” she quickly added.

Yousef chucked. “Apparently, my family got sick of me constantly talking about you and how much I missed you, so they bought me a ticket so I could come back.”

“You talked about me constantly?” she asked, her eyes lit up in amusement.

Yousef was about to reply when raised voices from the other side of the kitchen door grabbed his attention. He heard muffled laughter.

“What do you mean I can’t go in there, this is my parents’ home, that’s our kitchen, I should be allowed inside.”

It was Elias. He could recognize that voice anywhere. 

He was obviously getting blocked entry into the kitchen from a determined Jamilla. 

“Who’s in there?” He heard Mikael say.

“No one, Sana just wants to be alone for a little while,” Jamilla persuaded. 

Yousef looked at Sana with an amused grin. She covered her mouth trying to stifle her laugh.

“Well I just want to go in really quickly and grab something from the fridge,” Elias said.

“Are you serious Elias, there’s a whole table full of food outside in the backyard. You really need something more from the fridge?” Jamilla asked incredulously. 

“Ok fine, don’t let us in. But just so you know, Mama was calling for you. She needs your help with something?” Elias said, changing the subject.

“That sounds like you’re making it up. Does she really need me?” Jamilla said skeptically. 

“Only one way to find out,” he heard Elias say. Yousef shook his head to himself. 

He heard Jamilla’s footsteps as she slowly retreated away from the door. 

He glanced at Sana who rolled her eyes, presumably at her brother’s stubbornness. He knew it was only a matter of time now.

He heard the sound of the door swing open, as all at once, Elias and the rest of the guys poured into the kitchen. They each had perplexed expressions on their faces at seeing Yousef standing there.

“YOUSEF?!” they all shouted.

“What are you doing here?” Adam exclaimed loudly.

“Is it August already?” Mutta asked, clearly puzzled.

“Yousef, what are you doing here? You’re back already?” Elias hastily asked.

He looked at Sana once again who was smiling, her eyes crinkling, as she shook her head. He looked back at the guys who were waiting in anticipation.

Without warning, Mikael grabbed Yousef by the shoulders, pulling him into a hug. 

“Bro, it’s good to have you back.”

The guys all followed suit, piling into a massive group hug with Yousef in the middle. 

“And I’ll take that as my cue to leave,” Sana said laughing at them. “Find me later,” she directed towards Yousef, who was stuck in between everyone’s arms and faces. 

He attempted to nod. 

Finally they let go of him, but not before slapping him on the back.

“What the hell Yousef? You didn’t tell us you were coming back?” Mikael said.

“It was kind of last minute, and I wanted to surprise everyone.” Yousef answered sheepishly.

Adam snorted, “More like you wanted to surprise one person in particular.”

Yousef rolled his eyes, before winking.

“We’re so glad that you’re back. We missed you,” Mutta added cheerfully.

Yousef smiled at Mutta. “I missed you guys too.” 

He glanced at Elias who was suddenly looking at him in suspicion.

“Um Yousef, what were you doing alone in the kitchen with my sister?” Elias demanded, furrowing his brows.

***************

An hour later, he was standing near the rest of the guys, who were sitting on the lawn chairs outside. They were chatting amiably.

“Hey, I’m going to go get something to drink,” Yousef said, motioning towards the food and drink area. 

They nodded and he slowly made his way over to the table. As he glanced at the selection in front of him, he felt someone tap his shoulder. 

He turned around and saw Sana’s mom standing in front of him. He gulped, his nerves coming back to him in waves. He knew she wasn’t exactly his number one fan and he hoped his uneasiness didn’t show on his face. He put on a smile.

“Mrs. Bakkoush, hi…I mean…hello. How are you?” Yousef quickly uttered out.

A small smile appeared on her face, as she said, “I’m good Yousef. And you? I heard you were in Turkey. I didn’t know you were coming back so soon?”

“I was. I didn’t know either. But my parents surprised me with a ticket to come back earlier, and I couldn’t say no. I know I was only there for a week, but I missed home.” He felt himself rambling. He needed to stop talking. 

She put a hand on his shoulder. “Relax, Yousef, I’m not interrogating you,“ she assured him, laughing lightly. 

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding as he chuckled. 

“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something,” she said.

“Oh? Um what about?” Yousef asked in nervous anticipation. 

“About Sana”

“Sana?” he repeated in bemusement. Hearing her name fall from his lips still felt so surreal to him.

“I know that there’s something going on between you too and I know that you’re not Muslim—“ 

“Mrs. Bakkoush.” Yousef interrupted. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off, it’s just that….. I know that I’m not Muslim and that you want your daughter to be with someone who is,” he added quickly. “But I just wanted to say that I would never do anything to compromise her faith, I couldn’t live with myself if I did. I know how important it is to her.”

She gave him a quiet and thoughtful look, before she cast her eyes away, to the surrounding guests who were busy mingling. 

“You know, last week, Sana told me about how you brought her food and water to break her fast with during Maghrib.”

Yousef nodded, recalling that night.

She looked back at Yousef. “And she also mentioned that you’ve never made her question her faith, but only made it stronger. If you’re who she says you are; someone who believes in her, knows what her faith means to her, doesn’t push their beliefs or ideals onto her, and gives her the space to grow and learn from her mistakes, then I know you’re going to prove to me that you could be good for her.”

His breath caught in his throat before he said, “I know that we’re too young to be thinking so far ahead into the future and I may not be a hundred percent sure of my relationship with Islam, but I am completely sure of what I feel for her.” Yousef expressed solemnly. 

She smiled widely at him. “I don’t doubt that. And I know a little something about young love myself. I was about the same age you are now when I fell for Sana’s father, so I understand what you’re feeling, I do.” 

The corner of his mouth raised upward at that. She gave him one last look before saying, “Make sure and grab some of this food before you leave, we made too much and we’re going to be eating leftovers for the next few months.” 

He nodded in acknowledgement, watching as she left to go talk to Sana’s dad.

His eyes scanned the room, trying to find Sana. Finally, he saw a flash of pink as he found her in the corner of the backyard, talking with her friends. He slowly ambled over to them and stopped in front of their group.

Noora was the first one to notice him standing there as she said, “Yousef, hey, come join us.”

“Yossi!” He heard Vilde say. 

“It’s good to see you again. Last time was at Eva’s birthday party right? Chris said.

“Yah it’s good to see you too. That was fun. Thanks for letting us crash your party” he nodded towards Eva. 

“Anytime,” Eva responded, grinning at him.

He peered at Sana who greeted him with a warm smile.

“Well we should get going, there’s still people we haven’t met yet, you know we need to make the rounds, “ Noora said, getting up and motioning for the girls to do the same.

“What? But I wanted to talk to Yossi some more. I have a lot of questions,” Vilde complained, getting up from her seat.

“I’m sure you do Vilde,” Chris replied. 

“But right now we have to go and do that thing,” Eva said, giving Vilde a look with her eyes.

“What thing?” Vilde said with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Come on Vilde,” said Noora, practically dragging her away from Sana and Yousef.

Yousef watched them walk away before he turned to Sana and caught her smiling to herself in amusement. 

‘You’re friends are…interesting” Yousef said 

“Yah they definitely are. There’s never a dull moment with them.” She replied, looking up at him. Her dark eyes pored into his and for a few seconds, time stood still.

“Ugh, please don’t do that Sana,” Yousef implored.

“Do what?” she asked innocently. 

“Distract me with your eyes,” he said, his voice growing softer.

“And what’s wrong with that if I do,” she teased, a smile spread across her face.

“Nothing, but it makes it kind of hard for me to form intelligible phrases. And if I’m going to ask you out on a date, I’d kind of like to do that properly.”

She looked taken aback; surprised but in a good way. She grinned wider than ever as she said, “When were you thinking of having this date?”

His heart started beating faster. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Actually, tomorrow won’t work for me. My schedule’s pretty packed.”

A small frown appeared at the corner of his lips as Yousef tried not to let the disappointment show on his face.

Sana laughed, “Just kidding. I’m free, I can meet you tomorrow. What did you want to do?”

Yousef rolled his eyes, beaming down at her, “Oh I have an idea.”

**************

“So what did you bring me back from Turkey?” Sana asked, her brown eyes were luminous in the afternoon sun.

They were sitting under a large oak tree at the park. Yousef had brought a picnic basket, that was sitting next to them on the blanket he’d laid out. He’d packed a bunch of food for Sana and him. It was his way of commemorating with her the end of Ramadan and the beginning of Eid celebrations.

“Oh I….uh… brought me??” Yousef looked at her questioningly, chewing one of the cookies he’d baked earlier. 

“Nice try, but seriously where’s my gift Yousef,” she asked, turning her eyes on him.

“…Sana,” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “I…uh… meant to get you something, believe me. It’s just that I was only there for a few days and then my parents sprung this surprise ticket for me to come back here, it all happened so fast, and I—“

He stopped talking when he realized she was smiling at him, her dimples framed the corners of her mouth.

“You’re messing with me aren’t you?” He shook his head in disbelief.

Sana didn’t respond, as she burst into laughter, her eyes squeezing shut. Finally she managed to choke out, “Your face…” 

“Wow. I was really scared you were going to beat me up for forgetting your present.” 

And she had this laugh; the bent-over wheezing, unable-to-breathe kind of laugh. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from her. He wanted to take a mental snapshot of this moment, so he could remember it. He would gladly make her laugh at his expense if it meant seeing her smile like this everyday. At the mere thought of spending not just every day but the rest of his life with her, his face broke out into the widest grin.

Suddenly she stopped laughing, wiping the tears away from her eyes. “Why are you smiling?”

“No reason,” he answered, looking down shyly.

“Awww, I’m sorry, but I had to get you back for what you pulled when I called you last week to see if you wanted to hang out.” Sana smirked.

“Oh yah.” Yousef chuckled, looking at her. “I’d forgotten about that.”

“I watched the Hei Briskeby video, the fidget spinner one.” She met his eyes, grinning cheekily. “Nothing in particular huh? I guess you forget to mention you were in the middle of filming. You really are the biggest dork,” Sana teased.

Yousef’s felt his face flush. “Yah, well I’m not the only dork. Jamilla told me that you told her you thought we’re soulmates.” 

This time it was Sana’s turn to blush, the cheeks tinged light pink.

“I’m not denying it,” she finally said. Yousef’s eyes crinkled as a felt a rush of exhilaration at her disclosure.

They were quiet for a few moments before Yousef said, “Do you want to go for a walk?” He looked at her with hopeful eyes.

“I’d love to,” She stood up at the same time he did, helping him pack up their things and stuffing the blanket in the basket. 

They fell into step beside each other. Yousef took note of how close they were walking together. All at once, he felt fingers brushing against his palm, and he looked down to see Sana’s hand intertwine with his own. She wasn’t looking at him, instead focusing her gaze straight ahead on the path in front of them, but a small smile decorated her face. He couldn’t help but notice just how perfectly her hand fit in his. His heartbeat slowed to a steady rhythm as they walked in silence. He glanced at her every so often and he caught her doing the same with him out of the corner of his eye.

The sun lowered in the sky, as the late afternoon chill set in. Yousef thought about how much had changed between him and Sana. He realized that he’d slowly found in her a quiet peace and solace that he’d been missing for so long now. It was in her smiles, in her laughs, in her love. If he had learned anything over the course of these past few months, it was that she made him believe in something again, and that was certainly a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hadir*=Sana and Elias’ older brother 
> 
> I literally wrote most of this chapter last night at 3 AM. me: *questions life decisions, but ultimately does nothing to change them* so I hope this is coherent and makes sense. I also hope I did yousana justice, and that I didn’t disappoint anyone. If you made it to the end I just wanted to say thank you so much for reading!!


End file.
